Understanding the Complexities of Human Nature
- Ka Hancock
- Oct 27
- 3 min read
The Intricacies of Relationships
I don't pretend to know anything about how these--what I consider--the foundational relationships work--Husbands and wives, Fathers and sons, Mothers and daughters--and all the concomitant cross-sections . I just know without them, without the glue of them, society would sink into eternal disrepair (and is and has in many cases). Family, the strength, power, fortress, and safety of family, is the secret sauce of success that makes mere humans, super humans--and saviors of society--at least that's my observation. And it's weird, because it doesn't seem to take particularly amazing people to do this, just ordinary people who give it their whole heart--commit to each other, then to their family and don't let go. People who do their best to love each other even when loving each other gets hard--then do their best to love their kids especially when loving their kids gets hard. Parents who teach their children early that everyone matters, and that some behaviors are simply wrong and unacceptable. Being there. Being a good example. Being a hero when you don't feel like it. Being careful not to inadvertently spread hatred in your home, so that hatred doesn't inadvertently get spread outside of your home. Talk about what's wrong. And what's right. And love. Always love. Even when it corrects, confronts or stings.
Relationships are fascinating to me. It's why I write about them. I love to explore relationships in my writing because in writing I get to do whatever I want--manipulate success or failure, doom or triumph, comeuppance or karma. Not so in real life. In real life I'm winging it just like everyone else. I have four kids and a hubby and brothers and a 90 year old momma who desperately misses my oh so sweet, but sadly deceased dad. I have16 grand-kiddos and tentacles of in-laws and out-laws, nieces, nephews, cousins, and all those other peeps somehow connected to them and me by marriage. friendship and fate. I've been around a long time, so my reach is deep and wide. I try hard to be good, like everyone, and sometimes it's not good enough and I have to live with that, which is never easy. To my credit (and/or discredit) I like to know what's going on in the world of all these people, so I involve myself by inviting them into my world. Some keep their distance, and that can pinch. But for the most part, I have what I consider an enormously rich life, abundantly populated with interesting people who know I love them and love me back. At the end of the day, I count myself extraordinarily lucky...and very happy! What more could a gal ask for? We do our best and love our best and accept that just maybe the people we love are doing the same. If I've learned anything, it's to stay out of the business of trying to control everything. It never works. Except maybe in writing.

Embracing Imperfection and Celebrating Triumphs
No relationship is perfect. They are messy, complicated, and sometimes painful. But within that imperfection lies the potential for profound connection and growth. So three cheers for that!
I love creating remarkably flawed and unassuming characters who somehow manage the turmoil in their lives well enough to live heroically. I wrote about three: An extraordinarily defiant woman who chooses her baby's life over her own because of an unyielding faith in her mentally ill husband (Dancing on Broken Glass). a young girl who finds a way to communicate with her severely brain-damaged mother and learns the heartbreaking price paid for her own life (The Duzy House of Mourning), and Ivy Talbot whose life begins to unravel when she is left at the altar--she has no idea the lies she's about to discover. (Ivy in Stills)
These stories remind me that despite the challenges, close and complicated relationships can be a source of strength and hope. They prove that sacrifice, forgiveness, and curiosity can nurture love through even the most devastating circumstances.

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